Lost consciousness

Sahi kya galat kya, shayad pehchan hi kho chuka hu iski..
Man ki awaaj, dil ki awaaj barso puraani hakeekat si ho gyi hai.
Kehte hai k hakeekat hua karta tha vo kabhi.. 
K aaj ki hakeekat se kuch nishaa dikhaai b nahi padta..

Maan liya khud ko galat har beete pal me.. K ab b kaha chain hai... Muskil ho jaegi har saas is baat k ehsaas bhar se..

Hosh me hu is hakeekat se.  Ya fir abhi b gumnaam se sapno me hu..

Bus ik baat najaane kahi dafn hai..  Kuch khwaab jo hakeekat ko hone ko the barso se.. 

Intezaaar me hai abhi b.. 

Faasle kinte se h yu bache se ..
Na iska ehsaas b hai..

Bus kahi to h bache se..
Ha kahi to khwaab b hai...

Hai kuch bacha sa....

Jane ye waqt ruka tha ya me ruk gaya gya tha..
K manjeel dikh to rahi thi yha dur se kahi. ..
Or kamjor hone lagi nigaahe meri...
 

                   Hone laga ojhal sab kuch yhaa se...
                    K dekh raha hu ab b yha se ..
                    Par ho chuki h nigaahe kamjor...

 Bechaini si ho rahi h...
Kahi kho naa jaaye jo yhi tha kch waqt pehle...

       Nahi tha kamjor yu.... Ya fir ehsaaas na tha kabhi iskaa...

       Jo aaj hone laga h ye ehsaaas
       Kaaapne lagta hu is ehsaaas se...
       Darne laga hu khudse ..

Beet raha h jo is kadar...
Gut rahi h saase meri...
K chheena ja raha h sb mujse...

 K rokle use tu....   K rok le use tu....
Hai kch bacha sa abhi b yha...
 Hai kch bacha sa abhi b yhaa..........

MOHABBAT-E-IGNORANCE...

Jaane kesi Mohabbat thi ye, jo ho chuki thi muje is haar se..
K hamesha dur jaana chaha - fir bhi sath iske hu khada..

kitnaa bewafaa hu naa me..
na seh pa raha hu khud ko yu is tarah..
fir bhi na baaj aata hu is bewafaaai se me..

dariyaa ho k esi yaha... doob jaau or fir naa aau..
jhoothe se ye dilaase - jo aksar deta rehta hu khud ko ..
k ab to yakeen hone laga h.. jhoota h tu or jhoote dilaase tere..

Beete waqT k nishaaa'

Din beete, mahine beete or kitne saal yuhi beet gye..
Najaane konsi shuruaat ka intezaar tha...
Ya shaayad jo intezaar hota hai, vo bus intezaar hi hota hai...

Har naye ugte hue suraj k saath har tarah se bus ulte paav chalne k liye bana hu... esa ehsaas sa hota hai ab...
          
Har beete hue pal me bus yahi to kaha hai apne aap se...
             K bus ho chukaa intezaar ab.. K ho chuka intezaar ab or jo yu rukaa to chalne k laayak hi ma hoga tu...

To kaha likha hai k jo haar gya buri tarah to shuruaat na ho paego firse...
K niraash h yu jo tu to kuch na ho paega fir kabhi kch..

kaha likha hai k tu sirf haarne k liye banaa hai..
Bhot waqt yu beet gya khayaal tha bhi to bhi kya hua uskaa...

Teri Zindagi tere karmo se tay hogi.. na tere niraash hue vicharo se..  na kisi k kehne se...
na teri ye dikhti hui nakaamiyo se.. na tere apne aap ko kamjor or besahara maan lene se...

Jo hai ye hakeekat, na chahte hue bhi hai ye hakeekat.. or isse kabhi bhaga nahi ja skta chahe kitna bhi bhaag le tu...
har aate hue mod pe tuje fir ye hakeekat k siva kch na milegaa...

Yu haarne bhaagne or niraash hoke bethne k liye nhi banaa hai tu...

Sarfaroshh....
Inqalaaaab Zindaabaad...

Autobiography: khilwaad-e-zindagi

Autobiography

khilwaad-e-zindagi...

shuruaat kaha se hui is kahaani ki kuch khabar nahi.. waqt gujarta gaya or me, mera jahaa sab kuch badalta sa gya..

kabhi soch nahi sakta tha ek waqt esa aaega zindagi ka... khud ko khote khote or beetate hue waqt k sath yu bhulta badalta chala jaauga..

befikar to nahi tha kabhi hone wale anjaamo se.. par laparwaah jarur tha apne har ek karm pe...


waqt bewaqt behtasha jaane konsi khushi thi ya gum tha jo sab malum anjaamo ki or na chahte hue bhi badhta chala gya..

Masoom si zindagi se yu afsos ki taraf andekha kar sabkch bus chalta gya or waqt nikalta gya..

bewafaa sa me apne sath bus bewafaaai or bewafaai karta gya..

to be continued...